Could you tell if your man faked an orgasm?

Is he or isn't he? If he's tired, had a few too many, worried about work or just not interested in sex right now, it seems the least stressful way to explain a lost erection is to fake the conclusion women expect

Could you tell if your man faked it? Most women would answer “Of course!” but turns out a third of us are wrong.

In Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth, Dr Abraham Morgentaler spent 25 years researching the male orgasm. His conclusion? Not only do a third of men fake it, the over-riding reason they do is the same reason women fake orgasm: to spare our feelings.

Men say women take it very personally when a man doesn’t orgasm, much more than he does if we don’t.

Because we think men’s orgasms are automatic and inevitable, he’s supposed to have one every single time or something’s really wrong. We’re not attractive enough, didn’t turn him on enough, he’s in love with the new girl in his office….

Hence why, in our super-stressed, super-paced world, both women and men resort to play-acting.

We’re not only too tired to have orgasms. Who’s got the energy to go through the hassle of explaining why we didn’t?

If he’s tired, had a few too many, worried about work or just not interested in sex right now, it seems the least stressful way to explain a lost erection is to fake the conclusion women expect.

A quickened pace, a few moans, dramatic thrusts and a hasty retreat and most women, apparently, are none the wiser.

How does he explain the lack of ‘evidence’?

Well, to be honest, most women don’t notice the absence of more fluid.

Isn't it time we all stopped having such unreal expectations on ourselves and our partners and accepted neither of us are sexual robots? asks Oladele

If he’s using a condom, it’s even easier: all he needs to do is dispose of it quickly and how were you to know there was no fluid pooled inside?

Ejaculate isn’t a true indication that he’s orgasmed anyway. Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes and one can occur without the other.

In other words, he can ejaculate without having an orgasm or orgasm without ejaculating (though it takes a great deal of control and practice to achieve).

Most couples make love last thing at night and conk out immediately the sex is over. 

How many of us are on the alert at 11pm after a hard day?

Two thirds of the men Dr Morgentaler studied said they got away with faking it.

The real shame here is that either sex feels the need to.

Faking orgasm isn’t necessary if admitting to not having one isn’t a problem.

Isn’t it time we all stopped having such unreal expectations on ourselves and our partners and accepted neither of us are sexual robots?

Safer sex and its intricacies Part 1

Sex is never an obligation – each partner has the right to say no. If a partner asks you to stop, you must respect this.

Many young people know that if they are considering having sex, it’s really important to make sure it is safer sex. It isn’t always easy, and it can be embarrassing, but talking about safer sex is a sign of respect.

What is safer sex?
Safer sex means sexual contact that does not involve any blood, semen or vaginal fluids being passed between partners.

We say safer sex rather than safe sex because sex can’t be guaranteed 100% safe. The best way to have safe sex is to be in a relationship where neither of you has sex outside that relationship and where you are both free of any sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and you use contraception if you do not want to become pregnant. Some people say the only form of safe sex is to abstain totally (not have sex at all) but most people would see this as being unrealistic.

Even when using condoms for protection, some STIs such as genital warts and genital herpes can be passed on because the condom does not always cover the affected area.

Being ready for sex
Young people can feel a lot of pressure to have sex. Friends may tell you they’re all doing it (sometimes even if they’re not). You see it on the TV and in the movies.

You might also feel pressured by a particular person. Or you might feel that it’s expected of you from a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Practising safer sex means looking after yourself emotionally. This means that you choose when to have sex and when not to, who with and how you have sex.

Some Safer sex activities

Massage, hugging, touching, masturbation,Social kissing (kissing with closed mouth),Rubbing against each other, Fantasy (just thinking about sex), Kissing the body (clean skin, not sexual areas or open sores),Saying no to anything you don’t feel comfortable about.

It is often assumed that these kinds of activities are only a lead-up to sexual intercourse. Many people find that these safer forms of sexual activity are more than enough to express their emotions and their love for each other.

Some probably safer sexual activities (there is not likely to be an exchange of body fluids)

French kissing (open mouth, as long as there are no sores and as long as the kiss isn’t so hard it draws blood) and use of a condom.

Some definitely not safe sexual activities:

Anything that allows blood contact, Sex without a condom (unless you are in a relationship where you can be sure that your partner does not have an STI, and you are using some  form of contraception if you do not want to become pregnant), Using condoms that have been used before, or continuing to use one after it has broken.

Getting body fluids, eg. semen, menstrual blood or urine, inside the body of the other person, eg. vagina, anus or on open cuts.

Culled from Ynaija

Amazing: Bill gates to give $ 1million for condom

The Microsoft founder and its former CEO is getting out of software and into, er, hardware.

Gates will give a $100,000 grant to whoever can invent the “next generation condom” through The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s Grand Challenges in Global Health. The estimated 80 grant recipients can then apply for a follow-up grant worth up to $1 million.

The challenge prompt notes that condoms are effective at preventing pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections like HIV, but their design hasn’t changed in centuries and people just don’t want to use them. As such, Gates is asking inventors to create something that does the job, but increases condom desirability by preserving sensation and enhancing user experience.

“There are many ways in which the current generation of condom can fail,”  “Maybe this is Windows Vista version. We can certainly get to Windows 7, 8 and 9, but we need to encourage people to use it.”

The deadline for proposal submissions is May 7. Winners will be notified in November.

My naija peeps, we should be able to comebup with something.