Increasing your wife’s appetite for sex

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Hello Bosede,

My wife feels I am too demanding. Every time we have sex, she feels she is doing me a favour. I need your help. How can I increase her appetite for sex?

Mr. James

Dear Mr. James,

It is true that most women don’t desire sex as frequently as men do. This is largely due to the physiological make up of the female being. While a man is aroused by mere sight of the nakedness or writhing of a female body, a woman will have to be turned on through sweet talks, body touches, or appreciative comments about her looks, for her to feel like having sex. This difference is what has made sexual intimacy among couples a mirage for most married men. This is also a source of concern for most women since their husbands look impossible with reference to sexual demands on the wives. Thus, most women feel that their husbands are just inconsiderate human beings who behave selfishly in sexual demands. To them, all that a man thinks of is Sex! Sex! Sex all of the time.

However, over the years, it has been discovered that the frequency of sexual desire of women can be increased with the support from, or deliberate effort of their husbands. How this is achieved is the subject of this discourse.  If a man desires his wife to frequent the bedroom with him, he may need to do more to help his wife to become sex hungry. In most cases, most married women’s attitude towards sex is a reflection of their husbands’ treatment. So, every husband who wants to increase his wife’s sexual desire must learn to do the following ways:

Stay close to her
Move closer to your wife by spending more time with her and sharing your deep thoughts with her. Closeness to her demands carrying her along in your dealings, daily schedules, your fears, aspirations and concerns. The frequency of such time spent together will also enhance the chances of sexual intercourse between the couple, since one thing may lead to another.

Such time spent together should not just be only to discuss your feelings with her, it should also be to listen to her own stories or things she wants to discuss with you. By nature, a woman wants to be listened to, so, you should allow her to pour out her mind. When you do this, it is a major signal of your love for her. Many husbands do not realise it that such time spent with their wives is actually an opportunity to secure sex from her.

Show more care and concern
Be more caring by showing active interest in things of great interest to her in the areas of her career, hobbies, health, and her parental interests. It soars your credentials with her when you concern yourself with such affairs of her life. It makes her feel great about you and prepare her emotionally to be with you in bed.

Adore her
Make her feel she is the most important person in your life. In fact, do everything to make her feel that you can’t live without her. Husbands need to learn the art of adoring their wives. This will secure great sex from any woman. To adore her means holding her in high esteem and verbalising it to her; being all over her wherever you (this is a sign that you enjoy being with her, without monitoring her or being boring); keeping in touch with her regularly through the phone when you are away from each other due to work schedule, and social functions. This should not be difficult since most men do that while wooing their wives.

Learn the art of lovemaking
Learn the art of lovemaking with reference to foreplay, coitus, afterglow treatment, and so forth. In my counselling experience, I have discovered that most couples, especially the religious ones, do not have good, average knowledge of sexual relationship. No thanks to the many religious houses, who do not prepare them ahead for sex in marriage. Many of us thus enter into marriage to learn by trial and error, and in an attempt not to be seen as being promiscuous, we shy away from discussing our sexual satisfaction or dissatisfaction with our spouse, preferring to suffer in silence. Unfortunately, it is the wife that suffers the most since she is the one who is left sexually unfulfilled most of the time by the inexperienced husband. No wonder she feigns tiredness, headaches and stomach upset most of the time for her to avoid miserable times spent in bed with her husband.

It beats my imagination why a wife will feign all manner of ailments to avoid the beauty of sex, if she has discovered its sweetness. Or do you think ants can smell honey, and not be drawn? That is what sex is if properly handled by couples; you cannot run away from such a wonderful experience called sex in marriage.

A man must therefore learn the art of lovemaking if he will secure frequent great sex acts from his wife. He must spend time and money on literature, seminars, and so forth, to discover how to make his wife desire sex regularly. There is nothing you need to know that somebody has not known already. I bet it with you, it will be worth the effort at the end of the day. When your wife is sexually satisfied, she will be ever ready to do it with you over and over as you learn to treat her the right ways in your marriage.

- TRIBUNE