Do you want a Revolution?

Do you want a REVOLUTION?!!!

One thing I like about 2019 Nigeria is that the masks are off.

The stars have aligned in our milky way and we see clearly now those who have been pretending and those who outrightly lack substance.

Someone woke up one day, dusted his student unionism and activism resume and went to meet a vanishing rabbi.

Our olóyìnbó rabbi at one time asked his acolytes to burn down the country so that they could excise their inheritance. He took his jargon to Amelika and was demanding money from his audience to buy arms and ammunition to embark on killing sprees in Central Sudan.

Rabbi was full of anointing and returned to the country only to get picked up. After plenty tantrums in court, one man did surety for him and he vanished into thin air. Some very brilliant Nigerians said with certainty that rabbi had been martyred while others said he was confined to a vessel on the high sea. Months later, rabbi showed up like deacon Stephen in Jerusalem.

Back to our hactivist and his meeting with the established secessionist. They claimed to have found common ground and were in the same boat to save Nigeria. They shook hands and got baptised under the same anointing.

Hactivist returned home full of power and got the shigidi-migidi crooner on his side. He declared it was time for a revolution and some  Nigerians thought it was a remix of Kirk Franklin's 2000 hit song. They talked loosely about revolutions in other nations and cited the fellow in China who stood in front of an armoured tank. They then talked about how revolution took off in North Africa; how a man set himself alight and forced a government change in his country.

Yele and his shigidi clearly talked about overthrowing a government through a revolution they hope to force. They declared "days of rage" and the last time I checked, rage refers to violent, uncontrollable anger and could also mean temper, fury or rampage. Uncontrollable anger can lead to anything except we want to deceive ourselves.

Mr Sowore clearly declared his manifesto and decided to kick off his campaign by spraying paint and defacing some structures somewhere in Ikeja. His goons have been blasting their horns and certain Ipobians and IMNites have been urging him on online.

So the state security service picked him up and I understand he allegedly declared that the SSS would go into extinction or something like that.

Some have said the move to apprehend him is an error while a few have theorized that part of his plan was always to force an arrest. When the police stayed far away from advancing IMN protesters in Abuja during the past few weeks, some individuals abused the government for treating them (IMN) mildly and failing to sanction serpent dances. They opined that the IMN protesters were peaceful suggesting that the cop and the young reporter who died were killed by friendly fire.

Those who lost out in the last elections and their supporters have now become advocates for protesters and revolutionists. They have probably seen how the back end server strategy currently playing out in court is falling apart so they have all decided to bare their knuckles. Some closet sympathizers have also started confessing and manifesting like the witches in kòtò Òrun. They are all speaking with one voice now which I love. The most amazing ones are those who have tried to explain how Sowore's hideous orange beret revolution actually means "Peaceful Protest." How now?

Let's assume the planned gathering takes off as planned and IMNites and IPOBians decide to hijack it to assault policemen and a chain reaction is set off. Let us assume a popular individual gets maimed or killed in any ensuing mayhem; who will be blamed? Do we think the events we like to cite in North Africa and parts of the Middle East as recent examples of revolutions were characterized by balloons and ribbons? Someone talked about self-immolation triggering a revolution and you are talking about bloodless revolution? Have you checked your vital signs recently?

2021 will be here soon and these people will gather again and expect to be gifted the reigns of governance.  The chief example they ought  to study they despise and treat with disdain. One man ran in 2003, 2007 and 2011 and was declared loser. He went to court to challenge results even when he had little hope and when they accused him of promoting post-election violence. Baba eventually went full political in 2015 and joined forces with the real person wey sabi road. He was declared winner and elected. To form an ordinary PACT composed of political featherweights in 2019 they couldn't form. Some went into early retirement after only one attempt while some returned to reign over their social media empires. A few are scamming their way through and some are lobbying.  Some are determined to get buried with a certain backend server and some are still waiting to get paid.

We will all be fine and live happily ever after.